Today is one of the most important days in my history. I was gonna wax philosophically (at length) about the miracle of my twin daughters birth. A year ago today our girls were born. Zoey Rose was born at 3:00pm and Quinn Romi was born at 3:02 pm. They came out pink, squalling and delightedly luscious. I said I was gonna wax but honestly, I am too damn tired to wax and I have been tired for a year and then some. A year ago, my journey of caring for two helpless, dependent infants began, and it was uncharted territory for me. I (I realize I am leaving daddy Abe out of this..he has had his learning curve too but this blog is my experience)learned damn quick. Night time was the worst. I was usually lucky enough to have some around to help during the daytime for the first month. .I had a difficult recovery from my c-section but I still did 95% of the night feedings. Imagine, you have a newborn. Night feedings? No problem, pull our your boob or plop a bottle in its mouth. Feed it . Burp it. Change it. Put the baby back to bed. Relief Sweet Relief! Not so with twins. You get one done and then there is still another one needing attention. I had a system worked out that is hard to explain and rather blurry to me. Feed one, put down in bouncy chair, feed other, put in bouncy chair, burp first baby, finish feeding, one last burp, change, back to bed and the same with the other baby. God forbid something mess up my system like an extremely cranky baby. Those were the nights I hauled Abe’s ass out of bed with not so nice words. I was so sleep deprived, I really should not have been driving, using sharp knives or making major decisions. Early evenings were rough too. Abe wanted to go out one time for just an hour to go shopping with his brother. Innocent enough. I gave both babies their last bottle of the night, and put them to bed. I felt quite smug and satisfied. “No sweat this twin thin” I remember thinking. 15 minutes later, all holy hell broke loose. One baby cried hysterically, I would get that baby calm, and then the other would start etc. etc. etc. Then my older daughter(with special needs) became hysterical because the crying literally drove her mad. I yelled at her, making her cry. Then I began crying. When two babies cried, it was horrific for me. I had this complete biological reaction..acute hysteria..I would be comforting one baby but all I could think about was the other crying baby. I wanted to comfort both of them at the same time…an impossible task. My mommy heart would break a wee bit..I was failing miserably. I called Abe on the cell and I kid you not this is what I said “You need to get the fuck home now. I don’t give a shit what you are doing. You need to come home now!!” He got home 10 minutes later, to find a sobbing wife, one hysterical teenager, one baby had burped {finally} and passed out, and the other baby slowly waning its miserable cry. The look on Abe’s face as he stepped into this utter chaos was one I will remember for ever. I remember thinking if he ever wanted to run like hell from domestic bliss..this would be the perfect time. He did not run..he stepped up to the plate and took over. I remember vividly telling him (after he got the others calm) “You might as well plan nothing for a year..we have no life except the babies. Don’t plan anything”. We made sure after that to have someone available to help out if one of us had to go out for a while. The world was forever changed for us. We are very blessed to have the girls, after trying for so long. It has become easier..well maybe not easier. We are coping much better and we are a cohesive team. We have survived the first year!! It has been an arduous year and I would not change one freaking thing about it!!! You know, people often say the stupidest things to us regarding the girls. One of the favourite comments people like to burst out is “Jesus, you got your hands full!!”..and now I always reply “Yes. I do have my hands full..better than being empty!!
